Aphenphosmphobia
by Muirn Beatha Dan
Summary: Have you ever had a fear so strong all you wanted to do was lock yourself away from the world? After a near death experience Karlee was lived with a terrible curse that causes her to be terrified of touching another person. Either she learns to control this 'gift' and use it for good or let it consume her. Maybe returning to Hogwarts may help her.. or not.


Have you ever had a fear so strong all you wanted to do was lock yourself away from the world? This is how I felt for the most part of my life. I wish I could be locked away from every other human being, never be near enough for them to touch. For a short period I had been locked away, but that's recently come to end.

I guess for you to completely understand I need to start from the beginning. My name is Karlee Bell and I'm a witch, growing up in a magical community I've always know that had this gift, magic is a gift. But I also hold a curse within me, some may say its a blessing, but believe me when I say its far from.

It all started when I was eight years old. It was one of those beautiful spring days, the kind of day someone would write a poem about. The air was worm, the sky cloudless and bright, flowers in full bloom danced in the wind. After my father had died, it was just mom and I, living on the country side in cottage even too small for the two of us. It was home, and that was the last day I saw it. As mum prepared lunch, I played with my favorite ball in the yard, its gold color sparkled and shone in sun. The memory is fuzz, i must of dropped the ball because the next moment it was in the water, floating away in the lake downhill from our cottage. I had to get it, I just had to, it was my favorite. I picked up a stick laying nearby, stretching my arm out i used it to reach for the ball. It kept spinning in the water as I tried to bring it to shore. I had always been a careless child, which on this day had gotten the best of me. I fell, head first into the water, by that age I still didn't know how to swim, i've never gone swimming since.

I was screwed. I flung my arms above my head, panicked. I tried and tired to bring myself to the surface, kicked and thrashed, trying to bring myself to safety but without any success. But it became to much, I was little girl, a small thing, who never imagined something so terrible happening to her. I let go, the air in my lungs left my mouth and was replaced with water. The last thing I remember before blacking out was voices, I wasn't completely sure how many, could of been one, could of been to.

By now you may believe I have some issue with water, how I wish my phobia lie in that direction. Water is a fear of mine but never as terrified as I am of this curse.

I awoke in St. Mungo's the next day, the largest hospital in the magical community. My mum sat at my side, she explained to me what had happened. The boy down the road had seen me fall in, he had jumped into the water after me and save my life. I watched as tears escaped her beautiful blue eyes, a mixture of fear, thankfulness and joy mixed within their depths. What happened next was the only part that isn't fuzzy, probably the only memory that sticks crystal clear in my head. Mum stood up, leaning over me, a small sad smile place upon her face, I could tell how grateful she was to the boy who had saved my life, but also terribly sad and guilty for not being there. It wasn't her fault, and I still don't believe she understands that. Leaning closer, she lifted a shaky hand and gently removed the stray strand of hair that had slipped infront of my eyes. Something she had done ever since my hair was long enough. It was a gentle movement, filled with love and care, but had caused me to scream out in pain, as if she had stabbed me with that touch.

All my senses went out of control. It was as if everything had been turn to max. I heard conversations and voices that had never passed my ears, tasted food I never even knew existed, and I saw things that I had never laid my eyes upon. My skin prickled and burnt with the touch of a lifetime of things.

They kept me in the hospital for three more months, and had moved me into a room where only a single doctor and a single nurse could enter. My mother only saw me through a glass window. Day after day i would see the tears slip from her eyes. I was secluded from the world. They diagnosed me with Aphenphosmphobia, the fear of being touched. The doctors said this ability had been sparked by the traumatic experience I had gone through. People have traumatic experiences everyday, no one has ever been cursed like I have.  
Why me? I would ask over and over again.

They tried to cure it, at first they thought it was only in my head. But it wasn't, I would touch someone and every inch of my body would explode with all five senses. Nothing would work, they couldn't cure. They sent me away to America, where a magical professor specialized in this line of work. Mom packed and we left, just like that. We didn't say goodbye, without any warning we were gone. Away from the cottage, our home, our lives, all because of me.

It's been nine year since we left England, since my drowning. Nine years since I was diagnosed with Aphenphosmphobia, the touch, my curse. It had almost been a decade and we were going home.

I sat in a dark, dusty room, piles of books on ever surface. A large desk sat in the middle of the room with an aging thin man behind it, his salt and pepper hair receding and a thick goatee, the permenant bags under his eyes made him look old and exhausted. Professor Rowan looked at me with his dark eyes, he was scary when I first met him, then again I was eight years old, he had grown to become a miserable grand father like figure.

"And what news does your mother send?"

"She received an Owl this morning, Minister Shacklebolt has accepted her return as his head secretary. We leave tonight." I said, wringing my hands nervously.

"Everything will be alright Miss Bell. Remember what I told you?" Professor Rowan asked.

"I need to control it." I answered. I could feel the frustration boiling inside me. "It's not that simple!" banging my hands on his desk, his lamp exploded at the same time.

"Do you not understand?" He gestured to the glass pieces. "This is a psychic power, a great power once its under control - "

"Great?! This is anything but great, I can't ever touch another human being again. It objects now to, you know. I can feel their history."

"Imagine what you could do with this under control. This could be a great power." He didn't understand, this power was nothing less than a burden, a curse. I said my goodbyes and left him.

That night me and mum boarded a plan to England. The minister of magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt had gotten everything prepared for us. He had always been a close family friend, always there to help us in a time of need. My mother had always been there for him as his secretary, and now he was to return the help. Mum wasn't sure about returning, she wanted to keep me in treatment, but Professor Rowan convinced her, he was sure I need to be faced with the past to accept and therefore control this curse.

He always told me I need to control this power, but before that I need to accept it. How could I accept the curse that seperated me from every other human being, magical and muggle, for the rest of my life. I could never lay my hand on another person with my senses exploded.

Professor Rowan thinks once its under control I'll be able to control how extreme the power is, even maybe turn it on and off. But its a guess. And it isn't easy to control, its wild and free and terrifying. Riping my insides apart with a single graze of another person.

I've learned to prepare myself from this 'defect', which i had grown to call it. I've started wearing layers, long sleeves, gloves. I avoid other people like they are the plague. But there was always that occasion where I'd bump into someone and the horrible feeling would come over me, I'd feel what they felt, thought, smelt, saw, everything. It only got more intense with age, the power grew. I could feel it threw my clothes, i could tell how the person felt and what they thought. And i could feel the past off of objects.

The Minister had prepared a house for us, decorated with furniture. It wasn't far from Diagon Alley, which meant it was close to the Ministry of Magic, mums work. The morning we arrived in our decorated home, a letter was waiting for me, an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. They knew I was coming without any notification, Mum said it was Magic. She noted that the rules of uniforms had been lifted, a wave of relief washed over me, not uniform meant that I didnt have to get measured and fitted, I wasn't ready for the scene it would of caused.

Mum sent a letter to the ministry, requesting someone to pick up my school supplies and to deliver it. The next morning I sat in the kitchen as I waited for the pot of water to heat so I could make tea to offer to the ministry worker who was to deliver my supplies. It was something my mum had always done, in all honesty I was completely terrified, I pulled the sleeve of my gloves up my arm and pulled my shirt down. I shook, all over. I heard a knock on the thick wood of the door, taking a deep breath I opened it and was greeted by man, around the same age as my mother. Thick dark hair covered his head, and silver rimmed glasses covered bright green eyes.

"You must be Katies daughter!' He said with a kind smile. Nodding, I smiled.

"Yes, I am! Thank you.. for buying my supplies. I couldnt... uh, would you like some tea?" Quickly changing the subject, I gestured for him to enter. I didn't know who my mum had told about my defect, if she had told anyone. He walked in, lifting the bags in his hands to pass them to me. "Uh, you can... just.. uhm.. Here! Put them down here, thanks..."

He sat down at the table as I walked over to the stove and started making the tea, he stood up from his chair and started towards me, "Need any help-"

"-No!" I shouted, my face exploding scarlet red from embarassement. "I'm almost finished." As I approached with his tea he reached out to grab it, but I ignored his hands and set it down at the table, quickly moving away before we could make contact. I went over to my bags and skimmed threw what I would need at school.

"I'm Harry" he introduced himself. I was never good at socializing, that's probably something I should of asked before.

"Karlee... Like Harry Potter?" I had read all about it, and mum had talked about him loads of times while home schooling me these passed years. I heard him chuckle.

"Yes-"

"Why would Harry Potter be running errands for a secretaries daughter?" I asked, realizing afterwards how rude I may have sounded. But I was indeed curious.

"I'm not the kind of person to enjoy the fame. Your mother is an old friend, we played on the Gryffindor Quidditch team in school. Do you play?"

"No... I've never even held a broomstick before." I told him walking over to table. "Well i've used a none magical broom, to clean and such.. but i've never flown." I sat down at the opposite side of the table, sipping at my tea cup.

Mr. Potter seemed shocked.

"Are you afraid?"

"I've got many fears, flying isnt one of them." I said with a chuckle, a secretive smile on my lips.

"Your mother was a Quidditch fanatic, I would've thought... " He stopped talking. The smile of my face fell. He was wondering why my mother hadn't taught me her favorite hobby, what was I supposed to say? We were to busy with doctor and professor, diagnosing me. It was my fault she didn't play anymore, it was obvious. Ever since my accident, everything had been about me, my mother never got time for herself, to enjoy what ever she wanted. The sad thing is, I've only been thinking of me and my defect, i've only realised this now.

"My children play, my sons are on the team, along with my nephews and nieces. They make up the whole team. Perhaps one of them could teach you?" He offered.

"I doubt it.." The smile fell from his face.

"Well, if you change your mind.. So, uhm.. Why did you mother need someone to retreive your supplies?" His curiosity got the best of him.  
"I'm not a big fan of crowds, plus we had a ton of unpacking.." He nodded, excepting my answer.

"Well then.. I must be off. Thank you for the tea." He said, standing up and heading towards the door as I followed behind him. Suddenly he stopped, and spun around. I jumped back, scared. "Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you. I've simply forgotten, my wife and I would like to invite you and your mother to dinner tonight. " I was about to open his mouth but he lifted a hand, a large smile upon his lips. "No excused." Finally, he left, closing the door behind him.


End file.
